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<title>driven to hurt you by cxhi (orphan_account)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23702719">driven to hurt you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cxhi'>cxhi (orphan_account)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>LOONA (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Dark, Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Issues, Homophobia, Not Beta Read, Open Ending?, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Verbal Abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:20:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>307</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23702719</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cxhi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>she was so so tired of their stupid smirks and pointing, and she was spinning (maybe literally, she couldn't tell) into a dark, dark place.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>driven to hurt you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>based on my at home situations rn</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>she was irritated.</p><p> </p><p>tired of the homophobia and lies and sweet words that meant nothing. </p><p> </p><p>and of course, they had to rub it in her face about how 'powerless' and 'weak' she was. </p><p> </p><p>but no, she wasn't. powerless wasn't picking up the blade that easily slipped between her two fingers. weak wasn't the punch that she held back after every word they spoke. and she was not going to let it go this time. not here, not here. </p><p> </p><p>the others warned her, asked her to calm down, asked her to "breathe." and of course she loved the others, but she would never be able to move on. they would always haunt her, always mock her. this is her price, but what has she done to have to pay for this? </p><p> </p><p>"fuck," she whined, rubbing the falling crystal tears that leaked from her eyes. she wouldn't give them her last tears, they would be reserved for herself. </p><p> </p><p><em>don't do it, please</em>, she heard, and could feel the world slowly edging and blurring around her. they were trying to take her away, force her back, but no.</p><p> </p><p>if she didn't end this, who will? will they keep suffering? keep fighting? keep crying, breaking, screaming?</p><p> </p><p>"there's no end," she murmured, highly conscious of the yells and warnings they gave in her head, echoing "please" and "stop" around and around and around. </p><p> </p><p>so she brought the blade to her wrist, close, and she could feel the eyes of 14 others watching her, waiting for their end, 2 of them still pulling for the power and the front. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>sooyoung, sooyoung, listen to me.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>haseul was there, forcing her way into control and taking sooyoung away. her protector, always there, always stopping the worst. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>it's okay, sooyoung, it's okay.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>and she could feel the edges and blurs and the blade leaning, slipping, </p><p> </p><p>gone. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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